do not worry.

 

“Do not worry.”

Simple words that often seem greatly complicated.

Has anyone ever told you, “hey, just don’t worry about it” or “stop worrying so much?” I know the answer is yes from me.

I think more times than not, people tell us to stop worrying so much about everything, or specific things in our life like grades, or job opportunities, summer plans, etc. But why should we not worry? I feel like the common cliche Christian answer is because God is in control, which yes is true, but I think that there is more to it than that.

In Matthew 6, Jesus discusses the topic of worry in saying, “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” (Matthew 6:25-27). 

When God created everything, He created everything. He created the world, the light, the tress, the animals, day and night, and He said that these things were good. But when He created humans, us, He declared it to be very good. This is significant. He is setting us apart from all of the other things in creation and calling us very good and he says that we are made in His image. He doesn’t do this for the rest of creation, only for humankind. He created us as humans to govern the earth, and to take care of the other things in creation. That is our role made clear in Genesis.

Back to Matthew, he writes that our Heavenly Father feeds the birds, and how they don’t store up food, or plant and harvest. God simply provides for them. If God provides for His creation, such as the birds, why would He not provide for us, who He has called very good? We see His faithfulness in providing for them, why should we worry about Him being faithful for us, the ones who were created to govern over the rest of God’s creation?

We are called to not worry because He has been faithful, is faithful and will continue to be faithful.

I think that it is so awesome that we get to rest in the faithfulness of our Creator, and how we have the weight of worry lifted off of our shoulders because of who He is and who He will continue to be.

Do not worry, because He is faithful.

Advertisements

summer 2017

This summer, I have gotten the incredible opportunity to work at a summer camp called United Christian Youth Camp (UCYC) located in Prescott, Arizona. This is the summer camp that I have attended as a camper, lead at as a camp counselor and now have served as a summer staffer. The desire to work at this summer camp was laid on my heart two summers ago as I was about to enter into my senior year of high school. And now, two summers later, the Lord has been faithful in bringing me here.

As the weeks have gone on, I have grown more and more fond of UCYC than I ever thought I would, or could. The people I have the privilege of working with, and the campers I get to serve every week in the Springs have made this summer unforgettable.

There is not one main purpose that I am writing this post, rather various ideas, thoughts and reasons why, so I apologize for my scatter brain that you are about to witness.

  1. Thankfulness.

I am forever thankful that the Lord has good intentions for me in mind. I am thankful that He knows what is best for me, and where is going to be the best place for me to be at any given time. Something I struggle with immensely is anxiety and worrying, and with that being said, those struggles affected my decision making for this summer. All second semester I was doubting my call to be at UCYC. Day in and day out I was filled with fear of not being able to see my family, not being able to fit in, not being fit for the position I was walking into, etc. But, after all of that, I decided that I needed to go. Not because my heart was 100% willing at that point, but because the Lord told me to go. Sometimes we don’t want to go where the Lord tells us, like Jonah. He didn’t want to go to Nineveh, and He even ran the opposite direction that the Lord was calling him, but after running, and the Lord continuously telling him to go, he went. And when he went, the Lord used him going to do great things. I firmly believe that the Lord had that same idea in mind for me, and I know that that is what He has in mind for you, too. The Lord doesn’t call us to go places that He isn’t going to teach us, use us and grow us. So, I am thankful that I heard the Lord’s voice, and was able to go where He has called me, because what wonderfulness that has come from it.

One of those wonderful things is the people that I have been able to serve alongside. I am so thankful for the Springs staff. Thank the Lord above for the staff that Springs was blessed with this summer. We all have worked so well with each other. Everyone has such loving and servant hearts, and we all love the Lord so much and love doing His work together. Something unique about Springs is that the summer staff housing was all together, which means this- all 22 ladies live under one roof and all 13 males live under one roof. That kind of sounds nuts and dysfunctional, right? Right. Don’t ask me how it works so well, but it does. Getting to know and to live with every girl on my staff has been such a blessing. We all get to spend time together at night when we actually get a few seconds that we can relax. We get to talk together, all together, or in smaller groups where we get to share about our days and our struggles and our fears. Living with my co-workers has been some of the best community that I have ever experienced, and I am so thankful for that as well.

 

  1. Growth.

Growing can suck, and it can be painful. And I am not going to lie, it’s hard. To be transparent, I am really insecure about being heard, and feeling like I am loved and cared for at times. But, this summer, I have constantly been reminded about how those are lies. My boss Braydon is simply incredible. He is such a great leader and I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to work under him this summer. There have been countless occasions that I have been having a bad day, or been really stressed and crying, or times where he knew that there was something going on, and he would ask me about it or offer encouragement to me. He has built me up by reassuring me that I am a leader and that I am doing a good job at the tasks that I have been given. I am truly blessed that this summer I have gotten to work so closely to someone who is walking with the Lord, and who is listening to the Lord in ways that he is able to see what the Lord sees in each and every person on our staff. He is encouraging and loving, and that can be so hard to find sometimes in leaders. Our staff is incredibly blessed to have him, but not only him, but many other people as well.

There are many other staff members that have made me feel loved, and like I am stepping into everything that God has planned for me. This summer I have felt empowered and encouraged to be the leader that God has made me to be, and to not be insecure about being heard. I have grown so much this summer in finding my voice, and beginning to know and believe that I am a leader and can be a leader. It can be so hard to see your own potential, and let me tell ya, it’s hard for me to see mine a lot of the time. But, being surrounded by a leadership team who speaks life and encouragement into me every day is such a blessing. Not only am I offered encouragement in times of self-doubt, but also in times when I am not doubting myself. Somedays, someone from the leadership team will just walk up to me and say, “Hey, you’re doing a great job.” There is nothing more meaningful than hearing something like that, even when you don’t need it. Simply hearing it at random makes it mean so much more sometimes, and I am blessed to be surrounded by people who offer that encouragement often.

Another area in which I have grown this summer is in my fears. I am terrified of heights (which is part of the reason why my camp name is Grounds lol), and at the beginning of training when summer started, I found out that I was working the high ropes course or as we call it the Static Course. It’s a really cool course, but the problem is that as summer staff, we need to be up there with the kids, which I mean, is really awesome and all, but I am absolutely terrified of heights. Actually, I am so terrified of heights, that I refused to go up on the course because I knew it wasn’t going to be a pretty sight. So for the first 4 program weeks of the summer, Grounds held her ground and stayed on the ground. But, after watching the team I work with every day at Static be up there, having a great time, I really had a desire to go up there. So, one day, when there were no kids signed up for a time slot, I quietly announced that I wanted to get up there, so I did, kind of. It was a struggle, but I made it up there, did one obstacle, and came right back down. But I had great time doing it. Here’s what I learned: When you let fear rule your life, you miss out on crazy awesome things that is in store for you. And I wholeheartedly believe that this also directly applies to God and how if we let fear rule in our hearts, we will miss out on opportunities to share His name and serve Him. God’s peace is so much greater than fear.

The last area of growth that I want to share with you guys is the crippling amount of stress that I experience. I am a worrier, and I stress out about a lot of things a lot of the time. And let me tell ya, camp and stress don’t really mesh well together. So, as these past 9 or so weeks have passed by, I have had to learn to not stress about schedule changes and things not going the way they were originally planned. Matthew writes “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today” (Matthew 6:34). There is nowhere that I have ever been in my life that this has been shown to me more clearly than camp ministry. At the beginning of the week, the schedule is prefect with no flaws in it, until the buses show up four hours late, or until the weather cuts in and decides that we aren’t going to run rec today, or when the bus comes an hour after session has begun at a location that is 30 minutes off camp. Sometimes you have no idea when those things are going to happen- actually most of the time you have no idea at all. But, is it helping me to worry and stress about the way that something on Thursday is going to happen when its only Monday and Monday has its own set of troubles? No, it isn’t. Camp has shown me more and more how true what Matthew writes is. Focus on today, and don’t worry about tomorrow until it gets here.

 

  1. God

So, some people may be thinking, “You’ve worked at a summer camp all summer, how have you encountered God?” I’m not going to sit here and say that I’ve had a huge encounter with God where He has clearly spoken to me telling me something. I’m also not going to tell you that some miraculous situation has occurred, but I will tell you that every minute of every day I have had the opportunity to see God.

Let’s throw it back to week one of camp which was a junior high week. I was at the Static course where I work rec, and there was this boy who I will leave unnamed. He was a camper, and before he even started climbing, I made a connection with him about how he plays guitar, in which I replied to, “How cool!! I wish I could play guitar.” Then he started climbing and he wasn’t very fond of heights. He only had made it a few pegs up the pole and then he requested to come down. I made sure that he was sure about coming down and then he climbed down. But before he climbed down, he muttered, “I hate myself, I’m not good at anything.” And once he got to the ground, he started to punch himself in the face, and right then in that moment my heart broke a little. I said to him, “Stop, don’t do that or say that. You are so loved and so important, and even though you may not be good at climbing or heights doesn’t mean that you suck or aren’t good at anything. You just told me that you play guitar, that is so awesome and something that you are good at that I’m not even good at. God made us all differently. He is The Artist and each person on earth is His canvas. Maybe he made you with acrylic paint, and me with water color, and your leader with some colored pencils, but that doesn’t make any of us less important, loved or talented. God gave us all different strengths, and that is what makes us who we are. When you say that you hate yourself and that you aren’t good at anything, you are telling God that what He created in you isn’t beautiful and that breaks His heart.” After I ranted about all of that for a few minutes, I said, “If you want to try climbing again you can, but if not, that’s okay, too.” He wanted to climb again, but we ran out of time, so I told him and his leader to come back later in the week to try again if they wanted to. They did. This day, the boy climbed up, completed one obstacle and then came down. But, one of the other staffers, Bayani helped him all the way though the course. Bayani asked the boy, “What is the scariest thing other than this that you have ever done?” And the boy replied, “I was flying a plane, and if it weren’t for the help of my co-pilot, then we would’ve died.” So for the rest of the time they were up there, Bayani called the boy captain, and he told him that he was his co-pilot. Bayani said, its just me and you, and were gonna do this, together. And then, they boy said something that touched Bayani’s heart. He said, “It’s me, you and God, right?”

It’s little moments like this for us as staffers when we see a student have a big moment and conquer a fear, and while they are doing that, still having Christ at the forefront of their mind.

Then, there are the other places where I have seen God, too. Like in the house I live in with the 21 other girl summer staffers. We have never had any huge dramatic fights. We have never had a problem with gossip. Praise the Lord. In that, I see God. All of us live in one room, with limited space, and these are the biggest problems that we have ever had is, “I can’t find one of my staff shirts,” or “Hey, can we turn the lights off and quiet down, people are trying to sleep,” or “Hey, can you move your stuff into your own area, it’s getting in my way.” If THOSE are the biggest issues that we have had, well then thank God because He is among us.

Another place where I have seen God is in the beautiful place where our camp is held. Springs is in the middle of Prescott National Forest which is SO beautiful. Springs is about a 5-mile drive away from the other two camps, Summit and Pines, that are a part of UCYC, and sometimes it can be a pain driving 20 minutes to just get into town. But, every time we make that drive, we get to see the beauty of God creation. We get to see trees, and sunsets, and rain, and deer, and birds. It’s amazing how beautiful that God has made this place that our camp gets to call home.

Lastly, I’d like to say that God is seen in the people on our staff. We have an incredible staff FULL of people who love the Lord and want to serve Him with their whole hearts. All of us work so well together, and God’s hands were in picking who got placed in the Springs for the summer, and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way! Every single person has different strengths that they have brought to our team, and it is so amazing seeing God orchestrate what 1 Corinthian says, “For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves[a] or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit. For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts,[b] yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.”

Our staff is one body, and the Lord made that happen.

God has shown up EVERYWHERE this summer, and I am so grateful for that.

 

So, thank you, God for a crazy awesome summer, and thank you Springs Staff, for blessing my life immensely. I wouldn’t have wanted to spend my summer any other way than up in the mountains serving Our God with all of you!

 

 

 

 

 

the resurrection changes everything

Tonight at youth group, we were talking about the resurrection and how the resurrection changes things. We touched on four things that Jesus’ resurrections changes- our past, our future, our purpose, and our identity. We touched on all four of these points for a decent amount of time, until one of my girls brought up identity, and how she felt that she wasn’t good enough, or good at anything. This is something that I can wholeheartedly relate to often, and I bet many of you may be able to relate to as well.

It’s hard somedays to recognize what we are good at, what we thrive in, what we are here for. Her mentioning her identity flaws got the ball rolling of how untrue that statement she said about herself is. Lots of conversation began flying around the room we were sitting in, and at first I just observed this conversation and listened to what more of the girls and the other leaders had to say. I say, and listened and thought, and then I finally spoke up and said something along these lines:

Identity. Our society loves to tell us that we have to be good at certain things, that we have to thrive at something to be considered good enough, or important, that we have to be a certain way to be accepted. But the voices that are yelling that at us are so incredibly wrong. We get caught up and buy into this lie that our identity is in what we say and what we do. That our identity is in how good we are at something. That it i sin what we have to offer, and if what we have to offer is nothing or us not good enough, then we are worthless. No. This is so wrong. Our identity in Christ has nothing to do with performance. Our identity in Christ has nothing to do with being good at singing, or dancing, or encouraging other, it has nothing to do with what you look like, or if you are the most popular person at school, it has nothing to do with works, at all. Our identity in Christ is found in the pure fact that Jesus died for us. That He died for us because we are worth it. Not because we did anything, but because He loves us.

Guys, our identity in Christ has nothing to do with performance. You are called loved. You are called worthy. You are called beautiful. You are called enough. You are called brave. You are called child. You are called perfect— none of this has to do with anything you have done, can do, or will do. None of this is because of your works. It isn’t because of who you know, how you act, where you’ve been, where you are, or where you’re going. No, it isn’t because of any of these things, but instead it is because of the resurrection. It is because Jesus died for you because He loves you. Thank God that we can have a perfect identity in Christ.

I know, thats crazy right? In a world today, where everything we do is performance based and task-oriented, you have received an identity in Christ simply because of His love for you, which has nothing to do with anything you’ve ever done. No, it’s not crazy, it’s a change. It’s different than what we’re used to. It’s uncommon, but oh man, are we lucky.

The resurrection changes everything, including our identity. Will you let it change you? Will you let it continue changing you?

 

vulnerability and community

Vulnerability is hard, it is scary, and sometimes it even seems like it isn’t worth it. Personally, I have experience all of these things; hardship in vulnerability, fear in vulnerability, and worthlessness in vulnerability. By no means am I saying that vulnerability is easy, but what I am going to say is that it is so important.

Over the course of this semester in one of my classes, we read through the book Can You Drink the Cup? by Henri Nouwen, and something that Nouwen and our class discussed was vulnerability. Nouwen talks about drinking our cups in community with one another. In other words, coming alongside one another and doing life together. Taking part of each others joys, sorrows and all that falls in between the two. Part of that though, is being vulnerable and expressing these struggles, hardships, sorrows and joys. And the other part of that is being empathetic, understanding and loving to one another no matter what the contents of another persons cup is.

The journey of being vulnerable looks different for each one of us, but I am sure that some of my experience will resinate with each of you in some way (which is why I am sharing it with you.) For me, as I mentioned earlier, vulnerability has looked three ways for me: hard, scary, and worthless.

Vulnerability is hard. I feel that it is this way because there are so many unknowns that come along with being vulnerable such as “what will people think of me if I tell them __________?” or “What if I tell them __________, but they don’t understand?” or “What if I tell them __________ and they judge me for my struggles?” There are so  many questions that arise when attempting to be vulnerable with one another. And this is where scary comes in- you never know what is going to happen when you are vulnerable with a person or a group of people. I know that I have definitely experienced this before. You don’t know how they are going to react. You don’t know what they will say, and that is scary. This fear arises within us, making us afraid to be vulnerable, which then leads us to believe that being vulnerable isn’t worth it. It leads us to think that we don’t need to be vulnerable because we are already hurt so deeply, that we do not want or need to be hurt more. Can any of you relate? But do you know what else this fear does? It makes us afraid to walk alongside one another. It steals the experience of true community from us.

In reading this book, I was able to develop a stance and my feelings on what community in my life has looked like, why it is important, and how we lack in community. Part of that lacking is vulnerability. We need vulnerability to have deep, meaningful community.  But these fears, uncertainties and these doubts of the worth of vulnerability make it so difficult to do. But, another thing that makes it difficult is that these fears, uncertainties and doubts did not just fall out of thin air- they exist because of previous experience. The way that we have approached what is in our brothers and sisters cups have given them a reason to steer away from vulnerability. The way we view others struggles and approach them have made people shy away from sharing those things because of the responses they have received in prior experiences.

Guys, we need community. We were created to desire community. And to need community is also to need vulnerability. I believe that you cannot have one without the other. I believe that they go hand in hand.

Yes, being vulnerable is hard. Yes it is scary. Yes, at times it does feel worthless. But, the community that can come with vulnerability is so satisfying.

Earlier, I mentioned that we need to be empathetic, understanding and loving to one another, no matter what the contents of another persons cup is. I cannot stress this enough. Everyone’s journey is different, and then so is their cups, but that doesn’t change the fact that each one of our cups is filled with both joys and sorrows. We need to embrace our cups, realizing that we are all different, but we also need to realize that we have a lot more in common than we think, and that in being vulnerable and in community with one another can be so beneficial.

We all struggle differently, and that’s okay. Sin is still sin, no matter what it looks like. Just because someone’s sin looks different than your sin, doesn’t give you the authority to judge them for that, because sin is sin no matter what it looks like. In our struggles, we need to encourage our bothers and sisters in Christ, not bring them down. In our sorrows, we need to encourage our brothers and sisters in Christ, not invalidate their feelings or way of grieving. We need to make communities in which we feel that we are allowed to struggle. Where we are allowed to grieve. Where we are allowed to be vulnerable. We need to be empathetic. We need to be understanding. We need to be encouraging. We need to be loving.

To be transparent with you all, I have struggled previously with self-harm and suicidal thoughts, and currently with depression and anxiety. I share this things with you, not to receive pity, or attention, or whatever. Rather, I share these things with you for three reasons: 1) You are not alone. If you have similar struggles, I want you to know, you are not alone. 2) You can overcome these things. Even when it seems like there will be no end, that there is no light at the end of the tunnel, that you are hopeless, there is hope. You can get through this (and as I have ranted about it, you dont have to do it alone, that is why we have community.) and 3) to show you that being vulnerable, although is scary, and hard at times, can help and bring hope to someone who is struggling.

We weren’t created to drink our cups alone. We we’re created for community, and with that comes the need for vulnerability.

We need to work at being better to one another. Better at being the brothers and sisters we are called to be in Christ. We need to make safe spaces for each other. We need to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, and also allow others to do the same. We need to drink our cups- together.

 

 

The Great I Am

Today as I sat through our chapel service at school, which I do on a regular basis, every Thursday at 11. Something that I particularly love about chapel, is that I get to come together with my friends, peers, and professors to worship God through prayer, a sermon, music, and offering. It is one of my favorite parts of the week.

This morning particularly, I was moved to tears during worship. This also isn’t necessarily an uncommon experience for me, but today something about it was different than usual. I am in a class called Principles of Christian Worship this semester, and it is such a thought provoking class. I really enjoy it a lot. Earlier this week, in class we were discussing the different names for God, which I have always found incredibly interesting. I love learning about things like that.

As we worshipped this morning, I got captivated by the song, “Great I Am.” I don’t know what it was, but just being able to proclaim that God is the Great I Am. That no one is above Him, that no one else is worthy besides Him. Every single word this morning sent chills through every inch of my body. There is something so powerful about a room full of people proclaiming the greatness of God, let me tell you.

Specifically, the part of the song that goes,

“The mountains shake before You, the demons run and flee, at the mention of Your Name, King of Majesty. There is no power in hell, or any who can stand, before the power and the presence of the Great I Am.”

I’m not even sure that my words could do justice to explain how powerful it is to hear a room full of college students, professors, and staff, that want to worship the Lord, and wholeheartedly find these words to be true, belting these words.

Our God is strong, and He is powerful. Nothing can stand against Him, and He is fighting for us. If that doesn’t comfort you, I don’t know what does.

Following that, an MCC alumni spoke on the second verse of the Lord’s prayer which reads: “Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”

This is something that I feel is so important for us to understand, and even more important than just is understanding it, praying it.

The Kingdom of God can be defined as this: The rule and reign of Christ in the hearts and lives of people.

If this is how we define the Kingdom of God, then we must recognize that we make up the Kingdom of God. And we must also recognize that the willow God comes from the heart of God. When we pray the prayer, “thy will be done” we are asking God to rule and reign in our hearts- hence, the Kingdom of God. When pray “thy will be done” we are asking God to align our hearts with His will.

This can be incredibly challenging at times, because it is so easy for us to look at our lives and say, “My will be done.” But typically, whenever I think that my will, or my plans or ways are higher than His, my world is turned upside down. God knows what He is doing in my life, and His will is so much greater than mine, if i would only take more time to pray and be obedient to Him and ask Him for His will to be done.

There has never been a time that the Great I Am has lead me astray in life There has never been a time that I have looked back on God’s will and have said to myself, “Psh, my will was way better than His.”  He KNOWS what is best for us as His children. 

God has chosen the broken and flawed to be the hands that help build His Kingdom. Did you hear that? He has chosen the flawed and broken- thats you. thats me. that is us.

We are His masterpiece. We are His handiwork. He has chosen us to help advance the Kingdom. All we have to do is be willing to pray the prayer, “thy will be done.” 

 

 

falling victim to fear

Something that has affected my day to day life is falling victim to fear of not being accepted or being good enough. I face these feelings with my peers, my family, my friends, and even within myself in certain moments.

This is something that I have come to realize being thrown into a new place with new people. I often times find myself cowering at the thought of walking up to someone to talk to them because I feel unworthy of their time and their attention. Although I am very outgoing and friendly (if you know me personally you can vouch that that is a true statement), I do have a bit of social anxiety. I fear rejection, and that affects how I go about  living my life everyday.

It is exhausting, if you know what this is like. It is emotionally tolling to constantly fear being enough for people. It is by no means easy, and it is something that I feel most people feel but are too afraid to admit, or even talk about. Often times I feel lone in this struggle, and goodness do I know that that isn’t true, but let me tell you, it sure feels like its true at times.

Feeling afraid, and feeling as if you have to walk through those fearful moments alone us tough. But by no means are we ever walking alone as believers. God carries us through these times. He walks with us through the fire. He is constant, when nothing else is.

It is so easy to lose sight of the truth about God, and His faithfulness and pursuit of us, though. In a world where intentionality is becoming less and less important, it is easy to lose sight of our unshakable God. But that is why we aren’t supposed to cling to this world. We are supposed to cling to Christ, because He never changes.

This is something that I am walking though right now. Wrestling with falling victim to fear. But in Christ, I am no longer a slave to fear, I am a child of God. Every single day I have to keep telling myself that I have to constantly make the decision to believe that and know what is true about me in Him. It’s not an easy decision to make; not because its hard to believe what God says is true, but Satan is RUTHLESS and will stop at nothing to steal our identity to lessen our effectiveness in the Kingdom of God.

I am no longer a slave to fear, I am a child of God. 

I hope this is as encouraging to you as it has been to me.

 

 

finding your place

Over the course of the last semester, I have encountered many different kinds of people, experiences, trials and things that are praiseworthy. The beginning of my new life in Kansas has been off to a great start. I have met so many new great people, and I have been loving the classes that I am enrolled in. Being in a new place, and not being comfortable has been hard, but it has been so good for my spiritual growth. I have been challenged by many people here in the questions they’ve been asking me, and just by basic conversation that I have had with some of my new friends here.

But, something I have been struggling with is where God wants me to be involved here at MCC. It has been a struggle for me not knowing what God wants me to be doing here, and I have been praying about.

I was studying with a suite mate of mine and the only conversation we were partaking in was about how much we didn’t want to do homework. nothing led into the next thing she said to me which was, “hey, are you going to run for Stugov?” My immediate answer was, “Yes, I am.” I prayed and asked the Lord to place in front of me what I was supposed to be doing, and He did just that.

Previous to this conversation, I had a conversation with someone else about what I should be doing, and he said, “Maybe the Lord just wants you to “be”. I thought that was a cool idea, but i thought to myself, ‘nah, the Lord definitely wants me doing something.’

I tried out for Stugov and didn’t make it, and I was bummed of course, but I knew that the Lord had something else in store for me.

Later that evening, I was talking to one of the RA’s and I was explaining to her about how I feel like I am not sure where I am supposed to be, and she said “that is exactly what I was going to bring up to you.”

So, I have been trying to come to terms with just “being” and letting that be enough for me, because that is what the Lord has for me right now. don’t get me wrong, it has not by any means been easy, but I guarantee that God is going to use me in amazing ways by just “being” and I cannot wait to see what those things turn out to be.

It is difficult not knowing what you are supposed to do, or where you are supposed to be, but the Lord is faithful. Not in my time, but in His time will He reveal to me what I have been waiting to know.